...Hell, I dunno. Don't ask me. Just make cartoons, I guess? Yeah, that must be it. Make cartoons.

Anyway, now that we all know how to be successful on Newgrounds, I want to shamelessly plug the Newgrounds 2009 Calendar. I wouldn't normally except this calendar is probably the best friggin calendar I've ever owned. I just got mine in the mail and it went straight up on my wall. It's beautifully printed and some of the artwork is really amazing. It just goes to show how talented some of the artists on Newgrounds are. And of course, I'm absolutely honored and thankful to have my crappy spherical-headed characters featured for the month of June. SO IF YOU HAVEN'T BOUGHT ONE ALREADY JEEZ WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR YOU UGLY WIERDO?

In case you need more convincing, (and why would you?) I've made a video review!

SO BUY THE DAMN CALENDAR ALREADY.

Hotdiggedydemon Related News: I've begun writing the third installment of the Jerry series. I'm not gunna reveal just yet when this one takes place in the timeline in context with the first two, but suffice to say I'm taking things in a bit of a different direction. It might be a while 'till it's out because I'm also working on other little goofy projects, some of which I'll probably be putting on the ol' internet.

And due to popular demand, this next installment will feature the return of fan-favorite, Jerry's Dad, although he'll be seen in a slightly different form.

Hey friends! How is everyone? How have you been? How are your families?

I have a new cartoon out and you should watch it cause I worked super hard on it. It's called The Greatest Idea Ever and it's about these 2 guys who have a pretty great idea

Here is a picture of the guys.

Toodles!

Hey friends! Let's talk about comedy! IT CAN BE PRETTY FUNNY STUFF.

First off, I don't think comedy is timeless. It's sad, but true. I think of comedy as more of a fashion, it can almost be compared to clothing, if you will. Were people in the 80's wearing the same things people wear today? Were they listening to the same music? Were they using the same slang? Of course not, and I think comedy, and what we consider to be funny, succumbs to change almost as frequently as the aforementioned examples. Remember that history teacher you had in high school who genuinely thought that the jokes Shakespeare put into his plays and poems were hysterical? Didn't he/she just seem like the biggest tool? Yeah, yeah, "beast with 2 backs". I get it. Hilarious. Somebody, please, stop my sides from splitting.

/sarcasm

...But yeah, its kind of depressing because the things we laugh at nowadays will eventually become obsolete. But such is life, right? Lastly, remember, comedy is like a frog. You can dissect it, but it dies in the process.

So whatever you do, don't take comedy too seriously.

OKAY ON TO THE STUFF I LIKE.

Seinfeld

I used to watch Seinfeld every night with my dad when I was a kid. In retrospect, it was an incredibly inappropriate program for someone to let their kid watch. Anyway, I have this whole huge rant about how comedy can only be funny when people who are "funny looking" deliver it. Not ugly, per se, but I can't stand these FOX pilots like Unhitched where all the characters look like goddamn super models. I'm supposed to laugh at something coming out of a beautiful person's mouth? I don't think so. Beautiful people need to stand there and look pretty, they don't need to make me laugh. Keep them in GQ and Sears catalogues.
Seinfeld is a good example of what I mean because even though in the context of the show Kramer is supposed to be a Casanova, are women drooling as they watch Michael Richards on their televisions? I'm guessing no, but women are dangerously insane so who knows what they want.

When I tell people I like Everybody Loves Raymond they look at me with a befuddled expression. It's out of character for me, I realize. But the real draw of the series is the late great Peter Boyle. What could be funnier than a crotchety old man?

I watch the Office but I don't tell a lot of people I watch it. It's a show that has a certain "soap opera" factor, if you will. It attracts viewers like my Mom and my Sister, who eagerly tune in each week to see who is hooking up with whom. Understandably I don't want to admit to watching a show my Mom and Sister watch. Honestly, they could remove all that drama bullshit and I'd still watch just for the jokes.

I used to be really into stand-up comedy when I was in my teens but I kind of fell out of it, mostly because I started to realize most of it is shit. Some comedians think they can just get on stage and make sarcastic remarks with a smug look on their face and people will go crazy (*coughcough*GregGirlado*coughcough*), BUT there are good ones out there. Dimitri Martin is my all-time favorite. He turns comedy into an art form.

Okay, on to the stuff I REALLY like.

Zekeyspacelizard introduced me to SCADshorts recently. They're pretty good. This one is my favorite....

STELLA was a brilliant show. I loved every minute of it. It was a little too goofy for it's own good sometimes but it was all in good fun. In case you don't remember, it debuted in 2005 on Comedy Central around the same time as Mind of Mencia. So naturally, STELLA was immediately canned and Mind of Mencia has gone on for 4 more seasons. Thanks, Nielsen families!

And finally, Tim and Eric.
Tim and Eric are my comedy Gods. In my mind, they are geniuses of the utmost caliber. What they consider to be funny I think is years ahead of what all other comedians are currently doing, and they've put me in hysterics time and time again. A lot of people mistake my unusual enthusiasm for Tim and Eric as sarcasm, but I assure you my love for the duo is absolutely genuine.
One thing that they've taught me about comedy is you can never be reluctant to embarrass yourself for the sake of humor. Every week on their TV show, they star in sketches that make them seem like fat, ugly, filthy, unattractive, unappealing, disgusting blobs. But they do it for the funny. And you know what? It works.

I've got chubs for you!

That's all for now. Prepare for 30 comments of people telling me the stuff I'm into is shit. In regards to Hotdiggedydemon related news, I'd like to thank the Fulpster for choosing me as the winner of the Halloween contest. My next big cartoon should be done sometime between now and Thanksquivings, but of course, I've been slackin' so who knows. I don't want to hype it too much but I think this one is pretty epic. It stars me and Chris Zito and Tomamoto.

Bye, friends!

Hey friends. It's me, Max Gilardi. If you don't mind I'm gunna say some words now.

A recent trend among animation aficionados is to criticize the lack of aesthetic appeal that modern cartoons have. Whereas once animation was painstakingly sketched and inked by skilled artisans, it is now a mishmash of clunky, unattractive lumps that looks like it was drawn by a five year old having an epileptic fit. And so, droves of cartoon-lovers take to the Internet to reminisce about how good animation USED to be.

To me this is very ironic because animation is better now then it's ever been.

I think there's been a change in prime directive when it comes to cartoons. They're drawn differently nowadays, and that seems to be the thing everyone focuses on. Nobody talks about how they're WRITTEN differently. This may sound pretentious, and maybe it is, but I'm not impressed by good animation. I'm just not. Any time of the day I can just flick on my TV and see good animation in a goddamn cereal commercial. Granted, the colors are a little obnoxious, but the characters move with amazing fluidity. How bittersweet it is that all of today's visually-impressive animation is monopolized by the Trix rabbit and the Lucky Charms leprechaun. So it's almost like animation has been commoditized these days. It's being churned out ad nauseum in Japan. So in a world where good animation is being mass-produced to sell us Cookie Crisp and Fruity Loopies, why do people still consider it valuable? I know I don't. What DO I consider valuable?...

Good animation is easy. Good writing is rare.

Now, I'm not saying that good writing and good animation can't coexist. The problem is I feel like more often than not I'm forced to choose between the two. When this happens, good animation never stands a chance. Nothing's worse then a cartoon with a great visual style accompanied by an infantile, boring, idiotic, uninteresting story. Because of this, I often find myself not liking the stuff those animation aficionados go on and on about. The so-called "infallible" stuff is incredibly blasé to me. Subsequently, I've become the guy who loves the stuff the haters love to hate and the guy who hates the stuff the lovers love to love. Simple, no? Sometimes I feel like I'm alone in this boat, but I try not to think about it too much.

When I think back to all my favorite cartoons, all of them have been "ugly". Every single goddamn one. I think ugly cartoons have sort of an indescribable charm that makes them so lovable. I couldn't, for the life of me, begin to express what I mean here. The ability to draw amazingly well is something that very few people possess, so it's almost like drawing a cartoon poorly makes it more relatable to the rest of us. Does that make sense? It makes it Quaint, it makes it Humble. 20 years ago, The Simpsons was responsible for a paradigm shift in the way animation is written. Whereas once-upon-a-time animation was written by cartoonist and animators, it is now written by writers and comedians. Some people will look you straight in the eye and tell you this is the worst thing to ever happen to animation, but for me, it was the best thing. Who could write better than a writer? Let the writers write and let the animators animate.

A lot of people have been asking me what cartoons inspired me to get into animating, so I thought I'd share with you my biggest influences. But instead of showing you loopy toons and marty mouse from "the golden years", I'm gunna show you this...

Home Movies is perhaps the most underrated show in history. I used to have laughing fits watching it late late at night when I was a kid. My parents would get pissed. You can watch whole episodes on youtube now....

Space Ghost and Perfect Hair Forever have some of the most delightfully avant-garde writing I've seen. I feel like this stuff might be really polarizing because it can be too unusual and too out-of-the-box for some people, but I still love it. Perfect Hair is actually one of my favorite things ever shown on television. Once again, whole episodes are on youtube.

There's this new show on HBO called "The Life and Times of Tim". It's only been on for about 3 weeks and it's already one of my favorite shows. HBO is a channel with shitloads of cash, and they could afford to make beautiful animation if they wanted to. So why don't they? Hmmm...

...If you haven't deduced this by now, I'm only using a pejorative term like "ugly" to articulate the argument I'm trying to make here. I don't think any of these cartoons are ugly, just different. Additionally, there's something to be said about good animation; it can actually be a distraction. I was watching a movie last night wherein the characters moved with fluidity, and the animation was very impressive. I couldn't pay attention to the story. I was hypnotized by the fact that all the characters were physically over-acting and enunciated every verbal cue with a goofy, unnecessary gesture. It was a sensory overload.

Do you guys know what Wabi-Sabi is? It's a Japanese term. Bobby Hill described it best on an episode of King of the Hill, it's "Finding beauty in what's flawed, like the crack in the Liberty Bell or the mole on Cindy Crawford's cheek."

If something that's flawed is beautiful BECAUSE it's flawed, then wouldn't that make a show like South Park the most attractive show on television?

Think about it.

I've beat my own personal high score!!

Jerry 2 passed my previous records climbing all the way to 4.58! Obviously it's fallen by now, but I just think it's cool that it was actually that high at one point. I try not to think about review scores TOO much, because honestly, I think the whole system is flawed in a lot of ways, but it's still cool in my mind. I work really hard on my cartoons and I know they're not great BUT something like this happening kind of serves as validation for all my hard work. Would I still be making movies if no one liked them? Of course. Just look at my audio submissions. People think they're horrible (and they are) but I enjoy making songs so I'll continue to do it. YOU GOTTA DO WHAT YOU FIND FUN, KIDDIES.

Anyway, I just want to thank all the people who voted favorably on Jerry 2 because it obviously wouldn't have gotten so high up there for that short amount of time if it hadn't of been for you. I don't thank my fans enough. I appreciate all the support and kind words you guys give me. I don't respond to all my emails/pms/comments because I'm a lazy ass but I DO read them all. So anyway, yeah. More cartoons are on the way. I'm not talking about what they are but they're definitely coming.

And now, get ready for a bunch of comments on this journal telling me my cartoons are shit, lol. Not that I can blame you, really. After all, my cartoons are a little gay....

Hey friends whats up? Tell your dad I said hi. He's a super fella.

Anyway, you should all go watch my new cartoon. It stars everyone's favorite social derelict, JERRY! Except he's a little kid in this one for some reason. Also, it's a scary cartoon. So Jerry's kinda scary. It actually isn't scary at all though, it's just halloween-themed. I hope you like it.

In lighter news, Egoraptor has AIDS.

...Yeah. Apparently it does. Moving on...

Hey friends whats up? I am fine. Tell your dad I said hi. He's a super fella.

Here's something I forgot to post earlier. A fan made this. It's the spanish version of an english version of a cartoon that parodies the english version of japanese version of a show whilst simultaneously parodying a cartoon that parodies the english versions of japanese versions of video games.

It's METEASOMBROSO!

Vaya, Speed, Vaya!

On another note...

RIP

Toonami

1997-2008

You will be missed. You took my anime virginity and I'll never forget you for it. Goodnight, Sweet Prince....

A lot of people have been asking me how the so-called "deleted scenes" from Spookyville are scenes I've removed from the "main" cartoon when they have absolutely nothing to do with Sal, Jake and Wendy. I imagine it does require a bit of elaboration, but I assure you it was, originally, one massive flash.

My goal was to create a really long, almost hallucinogenic flash inspired by what I refer to as the "epic flashes" of yore. Stuff like How It Will End by AlanTheBox, Arfenhouse 2, or :/IntriguingMovieTitle/, the latter of which can no longer be seen on Newgrounds for reasons that are unbeknownst me. You know, the kind of flash movie where you sit down to watch it and by the time it's over you feel like days have passed. That sort of thing.

After completion, I took all 10 of the .FLAs that the cartoon sprawled over and began compiling them all into one. Unfortunately, the resulting file became much too big for my 1995-era computer to handle. With the filesize getting dangerously high and lag making it so that doing the simplest task took hours, I eventually had to make the heartbreaking decision of cutting scenes from the cartoon. After I did, I decided the scenes that remained were to be released in 2 separate submissions instead of 1.

Because of the hazy, dreamlike effect I was trying to go for in the movie, chopping the cartoon into a part 1 and part 2 was completely out of the question. I began rearranging the script to see if I could edit the scenes in such a way that they could be released as 2 stand-alone cartoons that don't have anything to do with each other.

I guess I was (semi) succesful in this regard, but the untold part of the story is that the final product and my original vision are completely and utterly different. Essentially the whole thing was shown out of order.

HERE'S WHAT I MEAN: In the Deleted Scenes, you have 3 "segments". For convenience, I'll call them Jesus 1, Azumi, and Jesus 2. (Azumi is the name of the Japanese girl who wanders around in a post apocalyptic wasteland). After Jesus 1, we have a break to watch the Azumi scene, then we return to Jesus 2. Interestingly enough, the Azumi scene was never meant to run AFTER Jesus 1, but instead, before.

Here's how it was supposed to go down...

The "main" Spookyville cartoon, the one where Sal regales the audience with memories of the Spookyville "series" that never actually occurred, takes place normally up until the part where Sal infamously goes off about Japanese girls. After the DDR music video, it is suggested that Sal suffers a stroke, implying that the Japanese girls, the DDR playing, Azumi, Jesus and Xenu all only exist in a hallucination Sal has as a side effect. After Sal's head explodes when he's playing DDR, the scene switches to Azumi. After Azumi is squished by a giant stone block (symbolizing a fatality of your choice!) the scene THEN switches to Jesus 1, not the Xenu scene, but instead, the scene wherein the 2 characters meet. Max laments about not being allowed access to Heaven, and after that, we return to Sal, Jake, and Wendy, for a scene that was cut from the cartoon entirely. Wendy questions Sal as to why he's been staring off into space, and Sal asks to be taken to the hospital. Before that can happen though, more hallucinations set in. This is where Jesus 2, or the scene that introduces Xenu, takes place. After the Earth explodes, we once again rejoin Sal, Jake and Wendy as they wave into the camera as the "show" ends. You know where things go from there.

All in all, it was a major disappointment for me to have to butcher my own cartoon so much. Absolutely none of what I had originally intended came across and that was a bummer for me. This one project has definitely been a bigger headache than anything I've ever worked on.

...But, I've learned lessons. Lessons about not biting off more than I can chew. Lessons about not tackling something thats too over-ambitious. Remember guys, a true artist always works within his limitations.

So anyway, if you didn't like Spookyville I'm sorry but the good news is I have a LOT of new projects I'm working on now that should turn out to cause less drama for me, and chances are you'll like at least one of them.

Peace and Grease,

Max

It's been a while since I made a serious news post that wasn't about sharks, Bart Simpson's penis, butt fuck sluts going nuts, candy, or Winona Ryder. I can be serious, you guys. Read on and see.

Okay, news. First thing: Me horribly trolling all of you with the promises of my new series. As if the post spiraling into a painfully predictable Bel-Air wasn't enough to tip you off, a lot of newgrounders were actually gullible enough to fall for this thing. Yikes! In case you were one of those peeps, here were the warning signs you missed...

1: The aforementioned fact that you guys got totally Bel-Air'd

2: I never pawn off my animating duties on other people. Seriously, how much of a scumbag do you think I am? ...Don't answer that. Anyway, as long as I'm putting crappy cartoons on newgrounds, I will always ALWAYS do ALL my own animating and art. The only thing I ever need help with is voices, and I've finally reached a good place with that.

...And lastly, all of you get this through your heads: I would never, not even with a gun to my head, EVER animate a series about "a bunch of college kids who get into wacky adventures and mix ups". Jeez dudes, give me some credit.

So anyway, if you're one of the ones who offered help, thanks but no thanks. It actually is pretty cool to think that a lot of newgrounders were so willing to lend a hand, though. The thought is appreciated. You guys rock.

...Anyway, on to Awesome Racer. Some of my more hardcore fans were kinda PO'd that I made a parody of something as opposed to making a cartoon with original characters. The story behind Awesome Racer is that I made it as a thank-you to Ego for agreeing to be my "voice bitch", as he puts it. The guy is dynamite, he does lines for pretty much anybody and he never complains, and he's incredibly professional. When WANAC got pulled, I felt bad because it was like Ego did all that work for nothing. So I made him a gift, it's as simple as that. It originally wasn't even supposed to see the light of day on the internet. I wasn't trying to "cash in" on the success of the awesome series or anything. So if you didn't like it, guess what? It wasn't intended for you.

If you're still waiting for something new, don't worry. I know it's been over a year since I made/released Jerry but I'll be putting something out shortly. And when I say shortly, I mean SHORTLY shortly.

Like, REALLY shortly shortly

Hey guys whats up.

I am making a new series about a bunch of friends who live in a dorm who all have the same face but different haircuts and thats how you tell them apart. They get into wacky adventures and mix ups. Their names are Jason, Jared, Jake, Justin, Jordan, Jennifer, Julia, Jane, Janet and Cody.

I will need the following:

Writers
Animators
Background artists
Actors
Someone who knows web design
Programers
Musicians to create the Theme music
A (preferably) Spanish house cleaner
Marine biologists
A professional masseuse
Someone to wipe my bum after I go poopoos
And finally, someone to get into a fight with me so my mom will get scared and I can move in with my aunty and uncle in Bel-Air. I whistled for a cab and when it came near the license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror If anything I can say this cab is rare but I thought 'Now forget it' - 'Yo homes to Bel Air' I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8 And I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo homes smell ya later' I looked at my kingdom I was finally there to settle my throne as the Prince of Bel Air

PS: Winona, if you're reading this, gimme a call. You left all your shit at my house and trash pick up is wednesday so if you don't come and get it by then it's gunna be gone. Also, some of MY stuff is missing. You know anything about that?